Why you are your own worst enemy

(Imaginary Suffering)

We all suffer in one way or another, that is an unfortunate inevitability of life. But often we exacerbate our suffering, which has just as detrimental an effect on our minds and bodies.

Worrying is not a new phenomenon.

The Stoic philosopher Seneca wrote, some 2,000 years ago, in a letter to his friend:

“There are more things, Lucilius, likely to frighten us than there are to crush us.”

Have you ever worried about a situation preemptively, before there was anything you could do about it?

Of course you have, you’re human.

Seneca continues,

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”

You would think that over the next millennia we would have solved such an obvious issue. The unfortunate truth being that this problem is more rife now than ever. 

 With more social media outlets, more junk food, more advertising and more demands for our attention, mental clarity is harder than ever to achieve. We are destined for misery if we continue to partake in harmful thought habits. 

On top of this the World Health Organisation (WHO) recently published findings suggesting that anxiety and depression had risen by 25% during the last 2 years due to the pandemic. 

Before I begin to cause you unwanted stress, let’s refer back to Seneca’s letter for some desperately needed advice:

“What I advise you to do is, not to be unhappy before the crisis comes” 

Now, a certain amount of worry can be productive. For instance the nerves you feel before a job interview can encourage you to improve your preparation.

But that force led to action. Without action, worry serves no purpose. 

Another of the ancient stoic philosophers, Epicteus, wrote of how we need to be able to differentiate between those things that are in our control and those which are out of our control. In doing this we can clearly identify anything that does not require our concern and lay our emotional weapons to the ground. 

If you can focus your mental energy on identifying what is in your control, inner tranquillity has a space to be realised. 

Peace cannot be found before clearing our minds of negativity. 

Conversely, in believing that you can control what is out of your hands, you will meet frustration, anxiety and anger.

So, for the third and final time, let me refer you to our wise old friend Seneca:

“Accordingly, some things torment us more than they ought, some things torment us before they ought and some things torment us when they ought not to torment us at all. We are in the habit or exaggerating, or imagining, or anticipating, sorrow”

Find yourself worrying,

 What action can you take?

No action that will change the outcome?

You have Seneca’s permission to let that worry go.

Further reading: 

Seneca - Letters from a Stoic (Penguin Classics)

Sharon Lebell - Epictetus, The Art of Living