If you think like this, you’re doomed
(What did you expect?)
“Expectations are resentments waiting to happen”
Anne Lammont
Prepare for the worst, expect the best as the saying goes.
It's all well and good if the worst arrives as we have prepared for it, so know which actions to take.
But we were expecting the best, so can now only be disappointed.
Prepared, but disappointed nonetheless.
And what of the best arriving our way? Well, what wonderful luck we’ve had.
Are we over the moon? Are we as happy as can be?
Well, no…
Because we were expecting this.
There are often many desirable outcomes between our best and worst case scenarios but we didn’t expect them. We hadn’t mentally pre planned for their existence. We assumed the best, so anything but is a let down.
Anything but the perfect outcome, now brings us some degree of misery.
You should be in control of your expectations, not the other way round. Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect.
Relinquishing our habit of setting expectations for every eventuality can help us to feel happier and more content with life, without making any physical changes.
What you cannot control, you must accept.
“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus,”
Stephen Hawking
Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking lived to age 76. After his diagnosis of MND he was given a life expectancy of only 23.
Some of history's greatest philosophy has been born from adversity. If we can replicate the resilience brought about by Hawking’s acceptance, we can become mentally resolute beyond what we ever thought (or expected!) was possible.
Don’t let the unpredictability of life determine your happiness.
We have expectations of ourselves, of others, of things that are so far from our control.
Then when things don’t go according to plan, we see it appropriate to feel hard done by.
So try today to notice when something has left you feeling upset or annoyed, can you let go of these feelings?
By acknowledging how your expectations brought you to this disappointment, you can start to decrease the number of expectations you have and lead a more peaceful, joyous and fulfilling life.
As the spiritual writer Sri Chinmoy wrote,
